I'm petite, measuring just slightly over 5'1". Many people assume I'm just naturally small and I don't have to work hard to stay in shape. This couldn't be further from the truth! I've struggled with my weight on and off since 2nd grade. I remember my grandma, rest her soul, poking at me and calling me chubby when I was a preteen. No wonder I've had issues!
When I was 20 I flew down to Dallas, TX for a flight attendant interview. The airline covered my flight but I had to pay to stay overnight in a hotel the night before the interview. I was so excited because for as long as I could remember I had dreamed of becoming a flight attendant. I put on my best navy blue suit and walked into the session full of confidence. The airline had a height/weight restriction for flight attendants which I was slightly nervous about. I wasn't "fat" by any means but I was a little bulky for my height. Also at that time I was really into weight lifting so I had a fair amount of muscle mass, under a slight layer of fat. I knew I would be close, but I wasn't certain they would weigh us. I starved myself for a couple days before just in case.
The very first thing they made us do was weigh-in. I stepped on the scale, weighed a few pounds over their limit for my height and was immediately sent away. I was crushed and had tears in my eyes the entire flight home. After this devastating and embarrassing experience I was on a mission to lose weight. I worked out like crazy and basically ate "low fat" or "fat free" everything. I lost weight, but I was filling my body with processed crap so I wasn't exactly healthy.
I did end up getting hired as a flight attendant about a year later with an airline that did not have weight restrictions. It was an amazing experience for a couple years but didn't turn out to be my dream job. While flying I studied to follow another passion, and later became a certified personal trainer.
Fast forward about 10 years, I'm in a completely different career, I still enjoy working out, my weight has fluctuated slightly over the years but I always tried to stay in shape. I watched what I ate for the most part, but I was far from eating "clean". Then I really got into running. As I started running more miles I dropped some weight. In the first couple years I used running as a free pass to eat whatever I wanted and still maintained my weight. It wasn't until training for my 2nd marathon when I finally focused on nutrients rather then just replacing all the calories I was burning. Instead of eating pizza and ice cream after burning 1800 calories on a 20 mile run, I ate more healthy food. It was amazing, I felt better, I recovered much faster and my running improved overall. As my clean eating has evolved, things have continued to improve. By the way I don't eat clean just to maintain my weight, I also don't want to fill my body with artificial junk and potentially harmful chemicals.
I get comments from acquaintances all the time (not to be mean, but many who could stand to lose a few pounds) complaining about how it's not fair that I'm so small. This drives me insane because what they don't realize is I have struggled and this doesn't exactly come easy to me. So please don't judge or hate me (or anyone else) for being "skinny". I work my ass off to be fit. It's a choice I make Every.Single. Day! A choice that others could make for themselves too, if that is what they really wanted.
I'm training for my 4th marathon, which equates to running 25-40+ miles per week over the past 2 years. I'm burning an extra 2000-3200 calories a week so of course my weight is down a little right now. I don't count calories, I eat when I'm hungry, which is every couple hours lately! I eat real food and lots of it. Being "skinny" is not my goal. Once I'm not running so many miles I expect to gain back a few pounds but I will still be fit & healthy because of the choices I make.
I'm sharing my story because I want you to know that losing and maintaining weight takes hard work and dedication. There are no shortcuts, you'll have good days and bad days, it won't be easy, but if you decide it's worth it, it will be. Don't ever give up on yourself!
Having the proper information, tools and support can make it easier and hopefully more enjoyable, it's my goal to help provide that. I'm not here to judge you, I want to help give you the encouragement you need to help you reach your goals. I'm human just like you. I don't always eat perfect and sometimes I miss workouts. This is a journey of progress, not perfection. I may not have a mind blowing weight-loss success story, but I've had my battles and I will keep fighting the fight.
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